So for the life of me there are some things that I just can't figure out, I mean I must be a worthy man, cause my ex-wife would like to be with with me still and would rather have stayed with me. Yet since we separated I have been in two relationships that just didn't work out oto well. No matter how hard I tried for them to work they failed. Yet the women still want to stay friends with me. But seriously how do you stay friends with someone that you would rather be with, not just sitting on the side lines. Yes granted one of the woman is married; still thanks to me, and it was doomed to fail between me and her, but the other; I messed up pretty bad with that one.I got nervous and scared, I'm a grown ass man, I will admit to it, I was worried that the distance that we had to endure was going to ruin what we had been building on, I was afraid to loose such a good one. With her living in Texas and me stuck in Virginia, I was like man this sucks all I wanted was to see her, to hold her, but I kept telling her that if we make it through the distance, then we can make it through anything, total fail on my part, just for being an idiot. I mean me and her shared the same hopes and aspirations. She loved my son, which is most important, cause he adored her. She wanted to adopt him and continue to have a family and make additions to it, she has no kids; perfect right?
She had this idea that since I broke the tie with her for all of six hours that she just wants to focus on school, and keep me as a friend. Great is what I thought cause my own undoing was my own fear. Go figure. Well I have given her space, let her be free, if she was serious then we will see where it goes, cause if she comes back around after shes done with school...I more then likely wouldn't hesitate, for I wasn't looking when I found her, it just happened.
Funny thing is when I was first introduced, I was like man, I really want to get to know this chic, on a personal level, and the more I learned about her, the more I got sprung on her. She thinks its the idea of her, but I say it is all of her for who she is, and where she wants to go in life. I miss the hell out of her, worst part is that I keep beating myself up for it, lesson learned I suppose. I just hope that where ever she goes in life, that she holds no regret, and that the next man is a better one then me. For in the end I suppose I just want her to be happy.
