Lose it All, Gain More

So I decided that this weekend I wouldn't stress about nothing. Spent the past week worrying about getting things done, getting situated for my discharge. Spent the better part of that trying to figure out how I was going to move all my stuff to where I was going to be staying. Being that this was so shirt notice, I'm not ready. Turns out that I will probably lose everything that I have worked hard for. I've come to the terms that maybe this is something that the lord is trying to teach me about, a lesson in to where it's not so bad to lose it all and start life over with nothing, cause after all we are born with nothing and we die with nothing.

With all that being said, I took it easy today. I learned that my son has an interest in classical music and playing the key board. He tries to imitate what he hears on the radio, cause he had me playing some Mozart and Beethoven. Seemed like his favorite was the Beethoven-Fur elise, and the Moonlight sonata. Interesting cause I have always loved music and playing instruments. Just never got around to being able to go to school for the instruments. Starting with my introduction to classical music back when I was in seventh grade thanks to my math teacher. He always said that it soothes the mind and allows one to think clearly and be at peace with oneself.

With that being said I think I'm going to see if I can get him in on some lessons, probably won't last long with him being ADHD and all, but hey its a start at finding his passions. So, not only did we do that today, but spent a few hours at the park running a muck. Had a total blast running around with my other family that we won't be seeing any more come this Friday when Isaac and me hit the road towards new adventures and a new life.

Leaving it all behind

Which brings me around to the point of this post..."Lose it all, gain more". I have come to the conclusion that it is okay if I can't take all my possessions with me. The only thing that is going to bother me, is having to telll my son that we have to leave his toys behind, that we can't take them all with us. I have a lot of stuff, things that I have aquired over the years of working hard. Mostly all of it I can survive without, it is just a shame to have to lose it all. TVs, double pillow top queen bed, with the complete room set; washer and dryer, and so many more things...sadly I might end up leaving it all behind. I believe that the lord is testing me, all my life, in someway, shape or form I have been fighting for possessions, things I wanted, things to spoil my wife with, things to spoil my son with. Maybe I need to lose it all, to get everything back better. Maybe that's what I need to experience. I mean I know what it is like to lose things, and people, but maybe I need to feel what it is to lose everything all at once. Cause being divorced wasn't enough, being single wasn't enough, so my new lesson must be for me to lose my possessions, and I think I can deal with it. For the lord will never give me more then I can handle. I try and remind myself that, I also try and tell myself that sometimes you just have to sacrifice it all to get it all.

“The sacrifice which causes sorrow to the doer of the sacrifice is no sacrifice. Real sacrifice lightens the mind of the doer and gives him a sense of peace and joy. The Buddha gave up the pleasures of life because they had become painful to him.”- Mahatma Gandhi