The Pains of Waiting

Seems like I'm stuck in the abyss of waiting. Everything is waiting, waiting for the VA, waiting for job interviews, waiting for summer, waiting for this chick that I love to come around. I mean wow, do I really have to wait for everything? Can something, maybe just happen a little quicker for me. The jobs are kinda blah, waiting to sit in on the interviews and see whats in store for me. The single issue with the jobs are the distance for the ones that are worth having, either my sister helps me out just a little bit, or I won't be able to do it. Of course the original plan was that I had some support here with this beautiful girl in Dallas,but  that's not quiet in place any more. I just can't give up on the things I want.
Shorty has been through some things, distrust in men, things like that; I get it. But how long can I hold on to this dream with her, how long before I just say screw it? I don't want to let her go, but maybe I should, don't feel like I'm on her list of things to do. Besides, she will never see me for who I'am, what I'm about, or how I see her. I don't feel like it's a complete waste of time to wait for her, cause it isn't, she is worth waiting for, if only she knew that. We share the same thoughts and meanings, same hopes and dreams, but for the moment she seems lost. Like she is punishing herself for something. I can't help her cause she won't let me fully in, and when I'm with her it's like heaven is shinning down on us. I can't read her mind to know all that she wants, she talks about us when I'm with her, our future, family; everything is with an "us" in it; yet we haven't made a step forward, we are just in limbo.

Feels like I'm on this roller coaster, full of these momentary thrills, then some flat spots, and then I start to climb the hill for the next thrill, but then the ride gets stuck at the top, slides back a few notches, then nothing more. Somebody better call the fire department and rescue me cause I'm really getting bored with sitting on this ride.
Next week I will be doing interviews with some top notch companies. Kinda nervous about it, haven't done a job interview in like five years. I got great marketable skills according to the recruiting agency that I'm going with. I already have a job offer that I will be getting more details from on Monday, it would be doing aircraft structural work out in Dallas; same thing I did in the military, that's about as much info as I have on that. Afraid to accept it before I attend the major job fair the following Monday, and yet at the same time I'm afraid to lose it.
I believe that if I just keep up my plans, and keep doing what it is that I said I would that she will see that I stick to what I say, that I mean what I say. Told her I would be in Texas, I did it, told her I would be getting hot and heavy on jobs, I have been, next step is to actually accept a job, and keep doing what it is that I told her that I would be doing, such as buying a house in the country, somewhere between her people and mine. I really don't like living in the city anymore, spent a long time trying to get out of Miami, now I feel as if I have traded one Miami for the other, Houston is just one spread out Miami without the beach. I want to live close enough to visit, and nothing more, don't like the traffic, or the crime.