Getting Started

I woke up yesterday with the sole purpose of not waking up, got my son ready for school and out the door, then I did nothing more. Crawled back in the bed and was like forget it. Had no intentions of doing anything except staying there. I woke periodically to check the phone for missed calls and texts, but other then that I didn't leave the bed. Just felt so down, so alone, so depressed and out of it. My sister and all the kids had left in the morning, leaving me in an empty house, feeling empty already.
At about noon I missed a call from one of the jobs that I interviewed for, stating that they will be going out to lunch and to call them back after one. I was in between on how I felt, wasn't sure if I had left that much of an impression on them, plus it wasn't exactly in my field of expertise. So I decided to say screw it and stayed in bed for another hour, didn't get a hold of the guy until about 1400, he was so excited to have me on the phone and make me an offer.
I was like sure, apparently my well written resume, and my manner of speaking, and how passionate I am about the things I do in all aspects of my life had set well with them, had left quite and impression after all. So I got the job!!!
I may not have had the start that I was hoping for when I came to Texas, thought when I came here I would have the shorty I had been dreaming about, and find a job quickly, followed shortly there after a house. So I got the job rather quickly, lost the chick to some uncontrollable force out there; which means I will get going, just at a slower pace. Got half of what I hoped for; wouldn't say I have lost it all, just more like had things misplaced from me.
I do miss her terribly, she fit me perfectly, even with her cute temper tantrums, and her freak out overwhelmed moments. She had become like my best friend, and a lover, even my son adopted her as his own, now somehow she's neither; friend,lover, or adopted mother; in the blink of an eye, shes gone; leaving me with unanswered questions, and a bad taste in my mouth when her name comes to mind. It was like having a wrench thrown in on all my plans, thankfully that is my life story so after a day in bed, I managed to crawl out somewhat, still a little sore from it though, but hell life goes on, after the pain, after the rain, what happens happens, and there is a reason for it all I'm sure. Guess maybe one of us, or both of us needed to learn some kind of lesson, time will tell.

Just to know that I got the job has given me so much hope, has made my weekend that much better, mainly because just as I will start to struggle, I will be bringing in my first pay check, an not ever miss a beat with any of my bills.
I'm a survivor, have been through enough shit in my life as it is, and I'm sure there is much more to come. No matter what, my son will have the best of everything he needs and wants. The kind of life that I have planned for him is the kind of life I dreamed of as a kid myself. It is going to be hard, going to be challenging, but with a strong pertinacious desire to achieve and with the lords blessing, then in time I'm sure all will fall in place, if not now then later, when the time is right; the puzzle will come together and the light will shine brighter then ever to let me know that I can relax that all is well. Until that day comes, I will never tire, never rest, never lose hope, or strength, and nothing could ever hold me back from it, not sickness, or fear; always be on the grind for it.